rainbowtatt

It’s not like I’d bought enough Christmas presents for myself already, but I queued up for over an hour at the Digital Camera Warehouse in Canterbury to buy myself a new Nikon lens.

It’s taking some time to get used to, moreso for needing to use manual focus on my poor little D40 body.

Just wish Elvis’ nose was in focus in this shot.

We finally had our external wall attended to by a lovely “sprayer” named Chris.

This is part of our roller door, which was once a mess of random tags and scribbles from whoever felt the urge. We’ve been luckier than some other vertical objects in our neighbourhood; some talentless twit has discovered some mature 4-letter words and written them as much as their spray can would allow.

Charming.

But Chris was a good bloke who was kind enough to answer my million questions about what he does and how he goes about it. I asked if he could paint me a giant cupcake and he gave me a look of “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout Willis??”.

So I took that as a “no”.

Either way, I’m happy with what we have now, compared to what we did have!

We did it.

We hosted 12 people for Christmas lunch and no one starved or died of food poisoning.

It took me about 3 hours to fall asleep on Christmas night, though; my brain was buzzing and wasn’t helped by the cats knocking over the christmas tree (mucho decorations and pine needles and water on the floor and remaining presents).

Yesterday I felt like I had a hangover and still feeling a bit like that today. I could also attribute that to today’s humidity. I don’t cope with humid weather, which is why I’m pining for the freezing cold Christmas I had in England last year.

In other news, Elvis has decided he likes to lick candy canes through the plastic and Bear has decided he likes to nom on bonbons; both were knocked off the tree when it keeled over on Christmas night, so maybe that was their motive. We assumed they were trying to get high (literally and/or metaphorically) on the tree itself.

This time last year I was in London with my girls and to be honest I’m feeling a bit homesick for the awesome time I had. BUT! We apprear to be on-track for hosting 13 people for Christmas lunch tomorrow, featuring a variety from both sides of our families.

The Real Christmas Tree hasn’t killed the cats yet, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t eating it or sniffing it or scratching it or just sitting underneath it at any opportunity. Seriously, you would think the tree is made of catnip.

I did manage to get a pic of the tree (in it’s K-Mart-decorations-and-leftover-crackers-from-work glory) while the boys were napping:

Special mention goes to my new cupcake ornament (the white glob up near the top), courtesy of bogan cupcake twin Leigh and my giant pile of presents (I’m feeling a tad spoilt). An even more special mention goes to the blue bucket, waiting patiently in case it starts to rain and The Water Feature gives us its own Christmas present.

Merry Christmas to friends and family, near and far, online and offline. Don’t forget to leave a beer some cookie out for Santa and a bucket of carrots for the reindeer.

I still go weak at the knees at the thought of having another Tim Tim milkshake.

But these were on special at Woollies this week:

So now that I’ve finished work for almost-a-month and that Christmas and my PMS is imminent, we might give these babies the milkshake makeover during a break from frantic houseworking.

Dear Friends

Just before the end of the year, I wanted to thank you for the e-mails you have forwarded to me over the year.

I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

But that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft are sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me. I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I’ll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan

I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum. I can’t even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will sit on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician.

By the way….a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who don’t have enough sex, always read their emails while holding the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late. HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS & GREAT NEW YEAR.

This is what I had for breakfast at Monal Cafe on Enmore Road on Saturday morning:

Yes, that’s a Tim Tam milkshake. Perfect for PMS, stress in general, and any day ending with a “y”.

If I were on death row, this would be my final meal.

Me, about a week ago: Let’s not get wedding rings! Dan: Cool! Me: You could get me an iPhone instead… Dan: *gives me one of those looks*

Dan, a few days ago: We could get tattoos instead of wedding rings… Me: *suddenly remembers the pain of getting a tattoo*

Me, this morning while I’m cleaning my teeth: I want a wedding ring! I want a diamond! Dan, in the shower: That is the complete opposite of what you said last week! *shakes his head and pulls his hair out*

It’s so much fun being female and indecisive between wanting something sparkly and wanting to buck society’s traditions. FUN FUN FUN!

I absolutely love the idea of sitting down every December and writing cards to all my nearest and dearest. Of getting my good glittery pens out, thinking of little messages to write and licking each envelope and whacking a stamp on the front.

But I haven’t done cards properly since I moved out of home.

I was thinking over the weekend about how at work we don’t send Christmas cards, but instead just pop a message on the last newsletter of the year and donate the equivalent funds to a local charity. And then it hit me: I could do the same for us! It saves time, we can do our bit for Mother Nature and make a donation to help someone/s less fortunate than we are.

So I fired up Photoshop last night and threw something together and have just finished emailing it around to virtually everyone on my email list. And I’ve decided to buy a goat for a poverty-stricken African community through Oxfam Unwrapped.

I wonder if I’m offending anyone by doing it this way instead of the proper way?

Living in the inner city, I’ve come to admire all the graffiti on fences, walls and anything else vertical.

Every now and again, we spot little teams of people huddled around a wall, wearing masks and shaking their spray cans frantically, turning a bunch of lines into art.

On Saturday I found a team of 3 guys working on the wall opposite our place. I got to chatting to them and discovered they were really friendly and chatty (not sure what I was expecting!) and explained how they get permission to work on people’s walls and avoid the police issues. Over the course of the afternoon, they’d attracted a little crowd of onlookers, all trying to see what the end result would be.

It took them a good six hours, but they finally finished just before the sun went down:

I offered our place as a canvas for them and they were really excited and starting planning what they’d do. My only request was that red be a dominant colour, since we always tell new visitors to “look for the red door”. Looks like they’ll be back again on Saturday – can’t wait!

Here are a handful of photos I’ve taken of the graffiti around our neck of the woods.