I probably haven’t mentioned this before, but I love Momversation. Apart from seeing some of my favourite bloggers in video form, the topics and resulting conversations are interesting. I even find the “mommy” topics interesting, when I haven’t even got offspring yet.

This Momversation was posted a couple of weeks ago:

And given my current pre-wedding state, this really struck a chord with me.

This is a topic that has come up over the years with me and Dan. My surname will end if I get married and change it; there are no more boys on my dad’s side of the family to carry on the Kane family name. Same thing happened with my mum when she married Dad.

I feel a connection to my surname given I lost my Dad when I was 8. And Pop, Dad’s dad, was a Senator involved in the creation of the Democratic Labor Party. I’m proud of my Kane heritage and proud of what Dad and Pop did in their lifetimes.

Dan had even said years ago that he would consider changing his surname to Kane if we got married.

That said, now that we’re engaged, I’m planning to take Dan’s surname when we get married.

For me, the last eight years with Dan has been my transition from being a sheltered, wide-eyed, innocent and gutless victim of my own life. The person I was before is unrecognisable to the person I am now. Not to say that I’m done with my transformation – because there is still SO much of me that needs repairing.

But there have been steps in recent years that I see as real progress in reclaiming “me”. Starting and completing a TAFE course. My 2007 UK Christmas holiday. Starting to take better care of my health. Stepping away from friendships that caused more harm than good. Starting my own business. And getting engaged.

“Me” is evolving. And I see that changing my surname is a continuation of that evolution. Accepting my past for what it was, how it got me to where I am and how it got me to this point where I’m ready to make a life-long commitment to my future husband.