So not going to the chapel
This post has been several days, drafts and revisions in the making. Let’s see how I go this time ’round…
(takes deep breath)
We’ve cancelled the wedding.
And we’re going to elope.
(exhales. slowly)
There are a multitude of reasons for our decision, some of which I’ve eluded to in my previous posts. The minor details are far too personal, and to be honest, it hurts my head to explain it. But those of you who have (tried to) arrange a wedding will have been there and understand all the complexities; we’ve just decided that we need to strip it back.
For our sakes.
It’s not been an easy decision. Last week we were in a daze, weighing up all the options, possibilities and potential fallout. I cried. Hard. But we ultimately know that our perfect day would just be a simple one that allows us to focus on each other, so we know we’ve made the right decision.
While elopment hasn’t happened much in my family, my in-laws prefer it and heaps of friends have eloped or had a small ceremony. And if I’m completely honest, I’ve had a massive crush on the idea of eloping after Jon and Heather eloped back in 2002. Yes, if the circumstances were different, I would have happily continued to organise our pizza-and-cupcakes wedding. But it’s just not meant to be.
I’ve unsubscribed from all the wedding blogs and site alerts. I’m packing away my wedding books and hoping to find them a new home. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t still feel pangs of hurt when I remember what we’ve surrendered. But as the days pass, the happier I am that we’ve made this decision.
A weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And I’ve always been lazy, right? ;)
Best of all? Dan and I are even stronger and closer than we were this time last week.
Noice-ities: crochet
Before I get started, a quick thank you to everyone for their lovely comments in my previous post. It was a hard one to write, and one that isn’t exactly my best writing, but I appreciated the comments all the same. Fanx guys :))
My weekend was totally focused on doing something NOICE for myself. I knew I had earned it!
I spent Saturday on the couch and crocheting. I mastered the technique with the help of a few more YouTube videos and am now well on the way to making a baby blanket for a friend’s bubba:
Look! The edges are almost straight!
Other noice-ities of the week include (and not limited to)
- Lovely friends who make lovely Tim Tam-themed treats
- Ordering our wedding bands (zomg I’m getting diamonds on mine!!!11!1!!)
- Discovering and watching about 10 eps of Glee (how fabulous is that damn show?!)
- Hanging out with my youngest nephew – who apparently described me afterwards as “cool”. Not bad from a 12yo!
- Booking TWO massages (!). One’s at InSpa, a place so popular I have to wait until the end of August for the next available appointment. So I booked an interim one this week with the girl who “shapes” my eyebrows.
What was noice in YOUR week? Join in at That’s Noice, our weekly meme called Noice-ities :)
Mum’s new home
It’s hard to find the words to explain what the last two months has been like. The stress, denial, acceptance; the explaining.
Mum was sick. Whether it was self-induced (addiction) or an existing condition (mental health) is like asking about the chicken or the egg. I want to be open about it for my own selfish reasons, but also to increase awareness, especially to people who are “victims” like me. But I don’t want to hurt anyone by my actions, either (i.e., sorry if all this seems vague and/or obscure).
On the day that mum went into hospital, I sat with her while she was told the cold hard facts of her need to stay in hospital. I watched her eyes as she realised that decisions were being made for her. Mum was only meant to be in hospital for a few days, but complications turned it into a seven-week ordeal. Mum’s medical team cared for her and made her well enough to leave the hospital. They determined that she couldn’t live on her own. That she needed to be in a nursing home.
But nursing homes are for Grandmas. Not mums. Not my mum. She’s too young. But we learned what she would need to stay well, and knew that a nursing home was for the best. It would mean we could sleep at night knowing that she’s getting the care she needs. And she’s getting that care now. We were so lucky to get mum placed into a nursing home that can care for her so well. I know so many people who are struggling while they care for their parents who are in a much worse position than mum (and us).
It’s strange that we’ve gone through so many processes that I associate with someone who’s passed away – taking over financials, cancelling the newspaper delivery, emptied out mum’s house – and we’ve even moved through some of the stages of grieving – yet mum’s still sitting in the nursing home, waiting for her next visitor.
The microwave slipper that changed my world
When I bought 2x packs of microwavable slippers from Catch of the Day last week, I didn’t realise that they were double packs.
Hence:
All it takes is one minute in the microwave and voila!, I have toasty warm feet. With so many spare pairs I can also have warm hands, elbows and knees ;) And yes, I realise that just by owning a pair that it really takes me to the next level of “special”, but I do not care: I heart my new slippers with all my heart.
They’re just a fancy version of those microwavable heat packs and not exactly easy to walk around in. But they are SO WARM!
But what should I do with the spare pairs? They’d make a great giveaway on That’s Noice, no?
Noice-ities: strike a pose
God bless the Queen for having an un-birthday and giving us a long weekend. Cause we needed it.
This weekend I managed to:
- Catch up with local and non-local friends and their offspring (kids are cute, but they’re cuter when I get to hand them back to their parents/grandparents
- Have the wedding make-up trial with my BFF a.k.a The Chief Bridesmaid
- Catch up with my sisters to plan the next stages of how we look after mum, who’s still unwell and still in hospital
- Attend Jarod & Liz‘s Informal Wedding Celebrations™ and stuff our faces stupid with pizza, pasta and icecream and make copious notes of what ideas we’re going to copy for our wedding/pizza/cupcakes party
- ZOMG I BOUGHT A WEDDING DRESS. Not unlike the one pictured above. This shot was taken just as the shop assistant suggest I strike a pose for the trial photo
Needless to say, after such an eventual and social weekend, I’m kinda looking forward to a week at work that’ll slow the pace down a bit.
